Do you ever feel like things are piling up in life? Like you’re a waitress at a busy restaurant
and you have too many plates on your tray.
Then, all of a sudden, the kitchen adds one more plate for table 7. Then, the whole thing comes toppling
down. I’ve heard of people experiencing
this occasionally in life. They get entirely too much
on their tray of life and eventually, something has to give. I tend to experience this on a weekly or
monthly basis.
On Monday evening, I had a complete meltdown…
In the middle of Honolulu H1 westbound traffic at 5pm…
Going 7mph…
This is fairly typical for my Mondays. I wake up ready to take on the world. By mid-morning, I discover how much I need to
accomplish and I become overwhelmed. By
mid-afternoon, I’m scrambling to plan out how I am ever going to accomplish
everything that needs to be accomplished.
It’s not until I’m sitting in Honolulu traffic that the conditions are
just right for me to fall apart. Sometimes
the melt-down comes in the form of anger and frustration, sometimes an
overwhelming sense of hopelessness followed by an evening of being curled up in
bed having my own little pity party.
As I was sitting in traffic, these were my thoughts-
Can these cars be
moving any slower? Why can’t anyone in
this state drive in the rain? I have a paper due at 7pm and it’s already 510pm
– how am I going to get it done? It’s
already a week late and she won’t accept it after tonight. How am I going to pay those 3 unexpected
bills? I can’t believe Dave had to fill
up the Expedition again already – should have never bought that gas
guzzler. When is God going to answer my
prayers about how to help my Dad? Has He
already answered and I missed it.
And then it happened.
The tears started streaming uncontrollably. I called a friend and told her I was
overwhelmed.
She said these words to me –
“Breathe, Michelle,
breath. It will be okay; say a little
prayer, turn on the music and worship Him.
Use this time that you are stuck in traffic to sing His praises…”
So I turned up my worship music.
And I said a little prayer.
And I cried. And
cried. And cried.
Then I was home.
That night, I got down on my knees by my bed and thanked
Jesus for everything He had given to me.
I thanked Him for helping me finish my paper and for being patient with
me. I asked that He continue to teach me
lessons and to forgive my ungratefulness and anger in the wake of the
storms.
Before I want to bed, these were the thoughts that came to
mind-
I am victorious. In the wake of troubled seas and torrential
storms I need only to stand in victory because He will guide me through every
turbulence in life. I don’t need the
wisdom to get through. I don’t even need
a map. I need only to trust that He will
see me safely through. Keep my eyes
focused on HIM, not on the circumstances and when I feel my gaze drifting away,
fight the urge. Today I broke down in
tears in the car on the way home from work.
I fell apart. And then He picked
me back up and I was okay again. I
learned today that it’s okay to fall apart, because He is always there to pick
me back up. Tonight ,as I get ready to
go to sleep, I feel victorious. Nothing
has changed except that I feel peace.
Will I continue to put entirely to much on my tray? Probably yes
Will I fall apart again?
Absolutely yes
Will Jesus be there to pick me back up? Yes... And I will feel peaceful again.
My devotional Tuesday morning was based on Isaiah 26:3 and Corinthians
4:18- a devotional I could have used Monday morning. Well played, God. Well played.
“You
will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed
on You!”
Isaiah 26:3 (NLT)
“So we don’t look at the troubles we can
see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things
we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”
2 Corinthians 4:18 (NLT)
